I can’t tell you how many times I have heard the following…
“I’m just not in the mood.”
“You haven’t been nice enough.”
“We just had sex last week!”
Now occasionally, these do make sense. But when it is over and over again, one starts to really think that they are just excuses. My wife loved to find reasons to avoid sex. Instead of figuring out why we should have sex, she would search for reasons not to. My pain and resentment just grew and grew until I now don’t believe anything that she says anymore. She just loves to refuse.
Years of sexual refusal really is devastating to one’s self esteem. When you are rejected sexually in marriage, you constantly wonder what you have done wrong. It took a long time for me to realize that it was not me.