The Ten Commandments – Violate them at your peril!!

I recently heard a sermon from a preacher who was adamant about the adultery commandment.  He said, “Just don’t do it!”  He was referring to sex with anyone other than a spouse or even thinking about sex with someone other than a spouse.  He was so adamant and I watched a lot of women nodding their heads with a look of righteous indignation on their faces.

I could not help but wonder if these same women went home and told their husbands not to get their hopes up.

I say this because I was at a “Christian” marriage seminar where the wife of the couple said these exact words to her  husband this while seated at the front of the auditorium in front of all the couples.  She was holding herself up as a marriage expert and an example of a “Christian Wife,” as she publicly shamed her husband.  She described sex as animalistic and shallow.  Her husband was a fire and brimstone type who had loudly berated all of the husbands in the audience by saying that any marital problems were the fault of the husband, every time.

After I heard the woman, not a lady, say this to her husband publicly, I was enlightened to the source of his frustration.

He is in the position of trying to encourage people to improve marriages while he is trapped in a prison with a hateful, selfish shrew.

Poor man.

I wonder if I will ever hear a sermon where a preacher treats Paul’s marriage advice the same as he does the Ten Commandments.  Can you imagine a preacher saying, “Don’t refuse your spouse.  Just don’t do it.”

No, it will never happen.


3 thoughts on “The Ten Commandments – Violate them at your peril!!

  1. Let’s look at the passage you reference: In 1 Corinthians 7 Paul is very careful to say that his words regarding the marriage bed are NOT commandments. So let’s put that aside. Paul is very clear (vs 6) that there are consequences for refusing, defrauding or cheating your spouse out of sex. I wonder how many husbands who haven’t given their wives the affection due her (vs 3) or wives who haven’t relinquished the authority over her body to her husband (vs 4), will taking responsibility for THEIR actions when the partner being refused steps outside of the marriage bed and gives into temptation? Paul is very clear that this is the consequence of refusing sex and affection to your spouse. How many of those doing the denying will apologize when their spouse is tempted as Paul says in vs 5? I dare say very, very few – instead the offending spouse cries victim with indignation and demands answers. “A Christian husband and wife must not accept a poor sexual relationship. The problems may not be easily overcome or quickly solved, but God wants every Christian marriage to enjoy a sexual relationship that is a genuine blessing, instead of a burden or a curse.”


  2. Well, the way I read it, he is saying something different. I think he is saying that people in Corinth should stay single, but he is allowing marriage as a concession, not a command. I think he is saying that if you choose to exercise your right to be married, you have given up the right to refuse. So is it a command? It is more like an agreement. No one forces you to enter in to the agreement, but if you do, you must accept the responsibilities along with the benefits.

    I guess my problem with the sermon was that the minister really emphasized this but did not state that we are not under the law of Moses, as clearly illustrated in Galatians. If we were, we would need to be staying home all day every Saturday and performing animal sacrifices.

    In Matthew 5, Jesus specifically allows divorce for sexual immorality, and most people say that means adultery. However, sexual immorality also includes refusal. Funny that sexual refusal is called “defrauding.” This is the exact same thing as cheating. So really, sexual refusal is really more cheating than adultery! Ha!

    Thank you so much for your comment. I really would like to hear from refused wives as well.


  3. I agree. You won’t find ministers spending much time at all about the spouses who refuse to have sex. One time in my church, a minister spent three separate Sundays discussing the seventh commandment. Surely, you would think he would spend some time discussing this very subject. he did for all of two sentences. Seriously. That was all. And one of those sentences could have been a way to lead into this very topic. “From my experience, I have found that most cases of adultery are the result of problems in the marriage.” I forget how he worded the next sentence but it was about the lack of sex. After that, nothing more was said. yet he spent one full sermon about the horrors of affairs and one sermon about pornography.

    My wife even had the nerve to say to me after we went home, “Quite a sermon about adulterers wasn’t it?” As if she were thinking how it spoke to ME.

    Sexual refusal is cheating by omission. Affairs and the like are cheating by commission.

    Thank you for your blog. I am enjoying your many posts.


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