For those of you who consider yourselves to be “Christians,” but feel no compunction about refusing (defrauding, cheating) sex to your spouse, I want you to look a the Bible verse below…
I John 3: 17
New International Version
If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person?
So it seems that the Apostle John is saying that love that does not result in action is not love. Is this limited to material possessions only? What if your child needs a hug or comfort or just a person to listen? Is it ok to withhold these things just because this verse only refers to material things? Of course not. But let’s take a look at another version of the same verse…
King James Version
But whoso hath this world’s good, and seeth his brother have need, and shutteth up his bowels of compassion from him, how dwelleth the love of God in him?
Look at the metaphor that is used. “Bowels of Compassion.” Have you ever gotten a phone call about a death or serious illness in the family, and felt your stomach fall? How about when you were a teenager and you got a call from your crush, and your stomach felt lighter than air? That is exactly what John is saying here. If you seem someone in need, and you refuse to help, you have shut off all of your emotional connection to that person. Now look at this third version of the same verse…
If you see some brother or sister in need and have the means to do something about it but turn a cold shoulder and do nothing, what happens to God’s love? It disappears. And you made it disappear.
Turn a cold shoulder is how it is phrased. And even worse, it says you have MADE God’s love disappear. This is no accident. A person who does this has made a conscious decision to exclude God’s love from his/her heart.
So if you do this to a stranger, that’s bad enough. But what if you do this to the person to whom you have made a lifelong commitment to love? You have told this person that he/she can depend on you to meet his/her most important needs for a lifetime.
When your spouse is lying in bed next to you, begging you for sexual intimacy for the 10th, 20th, 100th, or 1000th time in a row, and you tell him or her that you are too tired, too angry, too whatever, you are withholding what that person desperately needs when you could give him or her what he or she needs, AND IT WILL NOT COST YOU A SINGLE PENNY!!
It’s like seeing a person dying of thirst, while you have several gallons of water, yet you refuse to give a single drop to that person. That is what your refused spouse feels like, and the feeling of being totally unattractive, unappreciated, and unloved, is completely your fault!! He/she is virtually dying of sexual thirst, you turn a cold shoulder, have no pity, and you have MADE GOD’s LOVE DISAPPEAR!!
The sexual refuser is sowing seeds that will be a horror to reap. But will a preacher, pastor or other minister ever say this from a pulpit? Of course not, don’t be silly!