This is going to be a really harsh post if you are a refusing wife, but I would be doing a disservice if I did not write it. You really need to understand where you are going with long term refusal.
Ok, Refusing Wives, let’s assume that you have finally won. You have rejected your husband sexually for so long that he does not ask any more. He never brings up sex, he never gropes your breasts or your butt, and he never even looks at your body when you are naked! Aren’t you excited! Don’t you feel proud! This is exactly what you have dreamed of for years! I congratulate you!
What? You don’t like it? What do you mean? He doesn’t ever open the door for you? He no longer gives you back rubs? You actually miss his hugs? You would kind of like to feel his warm breath on your neck or giggle when he kisses your chin? You mean that since you have achieved your lifelong dream of a celibate marriage, you are missing the rest of the physical contact?
Well I feel really sorry for you, but you are reaping what you have sown. After being refused for so long, he finally gave up. Not only that, but since you have refused to engage with him in this basic part of marriage for so long, he no longer even sees you as a sexual being. When he looks at you, he no longer sees a woman, but only a source of incredible pain. And sadly, if you are looking for a person to blame, you need not look beyond your own mirror.
And here is something that is even worse for you. If you don’t have any marketable job skills and you have to depend on your victim to support you, you might end up having to try to support yourself. Because by refusing your husband, you run the risk that he might find a sweet, loving woman to give him what you have failed to give him. Because if he does, there is a really good chance that he will divorce you to marry this woman who will thank her lucky stars to have found a man who will do anything for her if she will just let him satisfy her sexually.
Unfortunately then things can get even worse. If you are entering your 40s, you may find that you start to experience some sexual desire. You may find that you crave sex and desperately want the sexual touch of a man. But you will find that few men in your age bracket are interested in a woman your age when there are younger, more attractive women available. But if you do find a man that is interested in you, he will likely not be willing to wait for sex until marriage. In fact, he probably will not be willing to wait until the 2nd or 3rd date. He will expect to have sex with you on the first date, and if you don’t want to, he can easily find someone else because single men in your age bracket are at a premium, just like you were at a premium back when you were in your 20s and 30s.
So you will probably end up in one of two situations. In the best case scenario, you will be in a loveless marriage with a man who is only with you because he feels obligated by morals that he resents. Or in the worst case scenario, you will end up completely alone, hoping that the kids will choose to come visit you on holidays instead of going to see your ex-husband who is now much happier with his new wife who is delighted to have found a man who loves her.
I know you did not like reading this, but I assure you, you will never hear this warning in any church, so you better heed it now!