Well, if you have been following my saga, you might want to know the rest.
We had a really long talk on Saturday which continued on Sunday.
My wife has told me that she is willing to make an appointment to go to the gynecologist, and I have agreed not to mention the fact that she has cheated me out of a satisfying sex life for entire term of our marriage, at least until she goes to the doctor.
But here is the problem. She has told me that she will not allow me or anyone else to go with her, nor will she allow me to see any of the medical records. To me, this is essential because I will then know exactly what the diagnosis is, and I can find out if there is any treatment.
So what will I do? Well, I really want to be sure that cancer is ruled out. If she does have cancer, she will need someone to help because she has ruined her relationships with all of her other family.
My guess is that no matter what the doctor says to her, she will tell me that he said that I am the problem. She will tell me that he said that because I am not nice enough to her, she is unable to respond to me. So what if that happens?
Well, this will probably be a surprise. If she says anything but, “I have cancer,” I am leaving. I have realized that no matter how assured and confident I feel before I talk about things with her, she is able to manipulate me. Therefore, there is only one thing to do. I have to leave and let a lawyer deal with her. She is able to use shame and obligation to get me to do whatever she wants. I am sick of it and I am not going to deal with it any more.
Also, I have been pleasantly surprised by the reaction of my church leaders. It seems that many of them would be supportive of my decision to leave a wife who refuses sex.
So maybe someday I will actually hear a sermon about the sinfulness of sexual rejection.