Ok, if you are a person who has been cheated out of sex by your refusing spouse, you may have heard this excuse.
But I can hear the refusers now, “What! Are you saying that a medical condition that prevents sex is not a valid reason to avoid sex?”
NO! Of course I am not saying that. If a man has erectile disfunction, or a woman has vaginismus, then he/she is obviously not able to have sex by having a penis in a vagina. So why am I even discussing this?
Well, the answer is simple. OUR SOCIETY HAS DOCTORS AND MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS WHO CAN RESOLVE THESE PROBLEMS!!
So if a man says he can’t get or keep an erection, there are drugs that can fix the issue, such as Viagra, Cialis, or Levitra. If those won’t work, there are penile implants that will fix the problem. There are also vacuum pumps, strap-ons, and all kinds of other ways that the issue can be resolved.
As for women, if the problem is vaginismus, then physical therapy or a counselor can really help with this. A gynecologist can refer a woman to this kind of therapy, but if the gyno says the woman should not worry about it, she needs to get a new doctor. No normal doctor will tell a woman that she should just stop having sex. Or if the problem is vaginal atrophy, like my wife has, the solution lies in hormone replacement therapy, or even the mona lisa touch, a laser treatment that has had wonderful results. http://www.monalisatouch.com
I even know of one couple where the man had prostate cancer, and his prostate was removed. In order to make sure that his wife is sexually fulfilled, he actually takes injections in his penis so that he can have erections. Imagine that! The man actually takes out his penis, holds a hypodermic needle, inserts the sharp needle into his penis and injects the medicine into himself. All this just because he cannot imagine letting his wife go without sexual fulfillment.
So what about when a person absolutely cannot resolve his/her sexual issues and will not ever be able to engage in penis in vagina sex? What then? Will the refuser then try to sexually satisfy his/her spouse in other ways? Will he/she perform oral sex? Will he/she allow anal sex? Will he/she use his/her hands to satisfy the refused spouse? Does the refusing spouse acknowledge and empathize with the plight of the refused spouse on a regular basis? Does the refuser at least recognize the sacrifices made by the refused spouse?
So if you are the cheater, how long do you expect your victim to accept this kind of treatment? I am asking this because no pastor/minister/preacher will ever ask this question.