Which Would You Choose?

Many young Christian men and women, if asked, will say that they would really like to marry a virgin. The idea of an untouched, pure spouse who will only have sex with you sounds really good to most young Christians. However, they also want a spouse who will be enthusiastic about sex. Can those coexist? Of course they can! There are many Christians who cannot wait to have sex in marriage. Unfortunately, sometimes they don’t coexist.

When I was young, I was one of those men who wanted to marry a virgin. My refusing cheater claimed to be a virgin before the wedding, and I have no concrete evidence to the contrary. She even told me that she could not wait to have sex and told me that I would never be sexually frustrated in our marriage. This was not true, but I cannot say for sure if she was lying. What I can say for sure is that after the wedding, she made no effort to improve our sexual relationship for 28 years.

Specifically, after 22 years of marriage, my refusing cheater made the autonomous decision that sex would no longer be a part of the marriage. She did not specifically say this, but had no sexual interest, and made it clear that asking about it would not be encouraged. On the 10-12 occasions when I told her that I was not ok with a celibate marriage, she would say in a very degrading tone, “It doesn’t matter because your penis doesn’t even work any more.” I found this very insulting.

So you may be wondering how I feel about the virginity issue now. Well, knowing what I know now, virginity would never be a prerequisite for marriage, and I think it is a bit silly to want it. Many people would disagree.

So I am going to ask my blog readers, both men and women this question. This is specifically for Christians, but anyone is encouraged to respond. The question of virgin or not is just too simple.

So let’s make it even more interesting. You have the choice of marrying two of the following people…

1. A person who has never had penis in vagina sex with anyone. This person will have sex with you 12 times per year for 10 years, 6 times per year for the next 10 years, and never again after that, or
2. A person who has has penis in vagina sex with 20 partners. This person will only have sex with you for the rest of his/her life. This person will have sex with you as much as you want, whenever you want, for the rest of your life.

My guess is that the white tux or dress is not nearly as important given those factors.


3 thoughts on “Which Would You Choose?

  1. That’s a pretty narrow range of choices. Virgin or slut… I believe it is foolish to think that not having sex before marriage is a good idea. Marriage should be entered into with full knowledge of what you are getting in the person you choose. But most people are uncomfortable talking about sex and will just take the person at their word. After all, this person is someone you love and trust, right? Most people have no problem discussing dietary preferences – “I like iced tea with dinner, by the way, I hate broccoli.” is easy enough to say. Why not discuss sexual preferences? Much harder to talk about missionary vs. doggy style. But it is not enough to talk about the mechanics of sex – you MUST tell them what sex means to you. That it makes you feel more connected to that person, that the “afterglow” is the most relaxing feeling you know of and that sex is fun!


    1. Yes, I specifically made the choices as different as possible. I don’t know if 20 partners makes a person a slut, but I guess that is a subjective thing. Thank you for your reply.


  2. I guess if they had rededicated their life to Christ, used condoms before, and ested negative for everything and i felt like wer were soulmates otherwise, i’d go slut now.😜😂20+ years of no sex, no spiritual or emotional or physical intimacy; i feel really fucked over. Or NOT fucked haha. I guess God has His reasons, but i was suicidal for years. I could write volumes…….


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